January was a bust, in every sense of the word, so for me on this day of Feb.1, 2009, I'm declaring this as my New Year, and will start all over again, there's no doubt that it'll be better. Plenty has happened, the good, the bad, and the ugly. One of the good things was that Gary had a birthday on Thursday, but the celebration will be delayed until sometime later this month. A couple of weeks ago, his aunt, who was truly more like a 2nd Mom to him because she finished raising him when his own Mother died when he was just 16, fell & broke her hip. At 92 years old, that's a hell of a hurdle to get over, and she couldn't do it, passing away early Tuesday morning. The funeral wasn't held until yesterday to allow time for out of state relatives to attend. Making this past week feel like a lifetime-waiting. To complicate matters, with the stress level high, I screwed up on taking the correct amount of Warfarin, which sent my bloodwork plummeting right back down to close to the level that I had in the hospital. It's corrected now and all is well on that end, but between that & the blood clot, I wasn't allowed to attend the funeral. Even though I knew I couldn't go, the tremendousus guilt that I feel for not being there to support Gary when he needed me the most, is something that I'll have to live with. It's a shame that it takes something so dramatic in life to realize just how fiercely you love someone, and want to protect them from anything that hurts them. After being married to him for over 30 years, and as angry as we can get at each other, sometimes wondering what's the point, now I know without a doubt that the point is-we really do love each other. A good comforting thing to know.
After several phone calls & a little sit down with the docs, it was explained in a language I could understand, that my version of taking it easy & theirs, wasn't the same. To keep everybody happy, I haven't left the house much at all (they hadn't explained that car rides were bad) and now have footstools in several places all over the house, so that no matter where I sit I can put that foot up. We even have a drafting table set up in the living room so now I can do art with my foot propped up under the table. But the best was getting a laptop, so now I can get back to spending some time on the computer, back to posting here, and catch up on the rest of you-all with--you quessed it-with my foot propped up. But January wasn't all bad, I got art shipped to PA to Arts On Union for a show that runs the month of February, featuring the artists of MMCA Marketplace, how exciting! But more on that tomorrow:) And I can't let the good things go by without thanking Amanda for being coming here to work on art together, for sitting with me yesterday while everyone was at the funeral, in general for being a friend and going out of her way to help-thank you again! Lots more to tell, but one day at a time, in the meantime, being cooped up isn't so bad when I have these kinds of views right outside my window.
I am so sorry to hear about your husband's loss. How fortunate for him that he has someone who truly loves him, even if you do bicker sometimes!! Believe me, I know the feeling...
My mom is in her 80's, and has broken both her hips in the last few months. I can no longer take care of her at my home, so she's at a "board and care". The guilt that I feel for not being able to take care of her myself is overwhelming. This is when we need to come into our art, I think.
Take care of yourself as well:
Kim
Garden Painter Art
Musty Boxes Ephemera
Posted by: Kimberly Wlassak | February 01, 2009 at 09:00 PM
Well, then, Hey! Happy New Year!!! WOOOHOOOO (much horn tooting and dancing around).
I'm sorry to hear about January's blues, please pass along my condolences to Gary and to you too. Things happen for a reason, sometimes to remind us of what we already know.
Gary's bird photos are marvelous. Amazing really - the subtle colors he gets to show up. I'm so jealous! And that flower in the window...yummy!
Good to see you back. I was getting ready to send out the dogs to see if you'd gotten lost in a snow drift somewhere. Here's the a magnaificent New Year for both of you.
sending along many hugs!
Posted by: tammy vitale | February 02, 2009 at 07:46 AM
So sorry to hear about the sad times and your health concerns... you always seem to have a good outlook on things despite the challenges. It is in the tough times we realize what is important to us. If we didn't have the hard things to go through we wouldn't appreciate the good times nearly as much. Those photos are wonderful! You should put together a book on Blurb! I'd buy one! those window shots are simply spectacular. I love the beauty of the randomness of nature! You and Gary capture it so wonderfully well! Best wishes to you both and here's hoping there are some better happier things in store for February!
Posted by: Dieverdog | February 02, 2009 at 08:46 AM
Hoping February brings you a lot of peace and comfort. YOu have beautiful photos. Have a wonderful week.
Posted by: Kathleen | February 02, 2009 at 01:22 PM
I;''m so sorry for your husbband's loss! You two have really had a tough month, but be sure to take care of yourself Sue. That's the best thing you can do for Gary!
Your photo's are beautiful!!!
Posted by: maigirlz | February 02, 2009 at 06:51 PM
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Your pictures are BEAUTIFUL!!! Oh and Happy New Year!
Posted by: Nicole Wermers | February 03, 2009 at 12:24 PM
Wow! You have had way too many things to deal with in one month. I think declaring a start over is perfectly reasonable. Pretty pictures by the way. Here's hoping your February is much better in health and spirit.
Posted by: Laurel | February 03, 2009 at 12:29 PM
Hey girlfriend!!!
Glad to see you back...missed ya! Glad to hear you are finally listening to your docs. Sorry to hear about hubby's aunt....and I am sure he knows how you feel about him. After 30 years, you definitely get to know each other...the good & the not so good.
The person I refer to on my blog is YOU silly girl. I wanted to wait until you were back posting again before I sent my ladies your way....besides, who do you think I was talking about when I said "good friend" who referred me to Debbie? :)
Take care of yourself and glad to hear you are "creating" again! xo...deb
Posted by: deb | February 04, 2009 at 10:12 PM
Sue and Gary, I am so sorry to hear of your loss of that very special aunt. And Sue, you have to know that Gary wanted above all, for you to take care of yourself. He knows you were with him in all the ways that really count. You take care of yourself, Girlfriend, and keep that foot propped up. February is going to be much better. Keep that gorgeous art coming. Your bird and flower pics are amazing! xox
Posted by: Linda Warlyn | February 05, 2009 at 02:15 PM
Sue and Gary, how sad to learn of the passing of someone so special to you. And Sue, you had to know that above all, Gary wanted you to take care of yourself. You WERE with him in all the ways that really count. You take care of yourself, Friend, and keep that leg propped up and those hands busy making beautiful things. Amazing pics of your views! And oh yeah, February and the rest of the year are going to be MUCH better. xox
Posted by: Linda Warlyn | February 05, 2009 at 02:22 PM